To be used and manipulated feels like nothing. It feels numb.
It feels like you’re doing something right, according to your heart, but everyone else says the opposite. They all say you’re being used. They all say you’re being manipulated. They all say that you’re like a puppet, being moved and tossed around. But you choose to ignore them and follow what your heart says. And, although in the end it hurts you, the pain doesn’t feel as painful as you thought it would be. You were expecting the pain, so you braced for it. You cried in your sleeps in between, but you accept it.
In the end, you let go. And that’s the moment of freedom. That’s when the numbness goes away.
But it’s all a lie, my dear readers.
When you’re abused, please stand up for yourselves. You have your worth, you have your dignity. You value more than you think you are. No one has the right to abuse you and no one but you has the ability to stop it. You may hear your heart cry out loud that this is for the best, this is going to get better, but no.
Listen to your head. Your head is telling you the truth. It’ll know when you’re starting the emotional descent. So, before you delve deeper into the spiraling madness, get out. There’s always a way out. It’s always there, and it’s in you. You just need the courage to get out.
And, believe me, that courage lies in you.
Also, believe me, don’t hold grudges. It’ll come back to you. Whatever you do, it’ll come back to you. Karma exists.